The Mutterings and Musings of an Author's Husband

Glow

I love to watch people glow. There are very few things in life that can equal it. They are part of what makes life memorable, in my opinion.

More recent examples have been wonderful to see and I have to share them with you.

A friend is getting married. Every time I see her, she is not just glowing, she is absolutely buzzing with excitement or floating along in a daze of anticipation and happiness. Her on-line countdown to the big day always makes me smile when I see the number change on one of the social networking sites. Today her post reads, ’21 days’. Earlier in the week she excitedly told me more details about her greatly anticipated honeymoon in the US and the amazing things she had planned for it. Her excitement is tangible and contagious, we’re so very happy for her. She glows so brightly and I am so fortunate to witness it.

That very same night I saw another friend who I have a lot of time and admiration for. A fellow Brummie living in Weston, this man works every waking hour in two full time jobs. When I saw him, his eyes were red and glazed from exhaustion, his movements a little heavy from the long hours of work and the pauses in his speech a little longer than usual as he had been working since 6 am and it was now 11 pm with at least another hour’s work left to go, maybe more. This is his daily routine and yet he looks happy and greets me enthusiastically as always. Within moments of our greetings, he dashes off with a sudden spring in his step. Actually, he literally bounded away to fetch his phone to bring it back to me. He had photos on there to show me. His young son has just earned his green belt in Karate and his other son is also excelling in his practice. The pride and love emanates from him as he tells me all about their achievements. It’s priceless and I can see why he works so hard for his family. I’m incredibly fortunate that he shares these moments with me.

Another friend, Linsi Parker-Turner, has just had her first novel published. Linsi posted a picture of her first copy on-line. I wasn’t there when it arrived, but I have no doubt at all that she must have been glowing with so much excitement that people would have had to wear sunglasses around her! For those of you who are not authors or do not have an author in your household, let me tell you that seeing this moment is so magical that it goes beyond words. Well, beyond my words anyway. We are so happy for her! Why not pop along to Linsi’s website, have a mooch and see what she was so excited about.

There are many more people I can think of and I could write a blog many times longer than this one, and that’s the wonder of it. In a world where darkness seems to reign in every corner, from social, economic, political to environmental, it’s people like these wonderful friends that makes life so special, filling it with their happiness, their special lives and their light.

I’m very fortunate because in my own life, Gina glows. She always glows. She glows when she writes, when she paints or draws, when she’s in the window seat of a plane watching the clouds, when she gets excited at hearing the whistle blowing on a steam train and the sound of the steam engine chugging away in the way that they do, when we see the sunset or the full moon, or shooting stars, when she’s playing with our girls. The moments are timeless. She’s always glowing. I’m so glad.

Still author's husband-ing away

 

Gina (www.ginacolliasuzuki.com) is still intensely focused on two fiction projects in their advanced stages, an history degree course and working on her next academic work on Japanese art as well. Oh, she’s also managing to find time to maintain her ‘Angry Birds’ high score ranking of being in the top 1000 in the world (ranked 765, the last time I looked). Obviously, Gina is very, very busy, as always.

What about me though? After helping with the marketing activities of her second novel in 2010, what has this Author’s husband being doing in the meantime to support my beloved writerly one?

Well, apart from making sure she has sustenance while buried in the large mountain of books and research papers where I presume it’s her typing madly away, I’ve been excitedly preparing for the marketing for her next novels.

One of them is set in late eighteenth century Japan, and once published, we’re planning on attending events in clothes from the period. I’ve been looking at kimono for Gina and me, as well as looking at props that are appropriate to her main characters. Apart from being eye-catching, getting dressed up will be good for photo, news article and internet marketing opportunities. Let’s face it, it’s just going to be enormous fun!

We tried various approaches to Gina’s book signings in 2009 and 2010. We were very lucky because most of the things we tried worked very well, some needed adapting a little and a small number of approaches were OK but didn’t really add to the campaigns in the way we hoped they might. Overall, the campaigns were very successful with sales figures beating many in-store records for non-celebrity book signing numbers, re-orders on book stocks and post-event internet sales improved if on-line rankings are anything to go by. Great rewards for having a lot of fun and meeting a lot of very interesting people - both ‘Interesting!’ and, erm, shall we say, ‘interestingly psychotic’ (See A Signing, a Psychiatrist, and a Spicy Sausage).

Anyway, from all those activities, we identified some other things that we’ll definitely want for the next campaigns which I’ve been preparing for, as well as planning for some other experimental things that we want to try as well. As an example, I’ve already got 5 expandable banner stands in different sizes to allow for smaller or larger events. Some marketing and banner designs have been sketched out, although these can only be conceptual at this point. Still, it's been good to sketch out ideas and playing with various ways to market Gina using multiple types of media.
  
I’ve been thinking about the local, national and global marketing plans too. We’ll take a lot from what we learned before, but I think it makes sense to revisit those plans from scratch at a later date, although they’ll still be completed well in advance of the launch of each novel once published.

I'm also very excited about our coming twenty-fifth anniversary in November; there's so much to do in so little time, but life is very good indeed.

Wishing all of you who read this the very best.

Ryoma

I would die for you

 

"I would die for you."

Said with sincerity, passion and meaning, these few words say it all. These words have been whispered by countless lovers and loved ones, and uttered in as many books, letters, films, songs and poems. Words that will make your heart miss a beat because someone would do anything for love, including giving their life. The ultimate sacrifice, an act of complete and utter selfless love.

I heard words to this effect in a song again the other day and it made me think about how Gina and I feel about this. There's no doubt about it. We would do anything for each other, including sacrificing our lives. This is not just a romantic notion for us, it's a very simple fact of life. But then I thought about the word, 'sacrifice', and I remembered how this has had very different meanings to us in the past.

When Gina lay there on the brink of death in a hospital bed in 2007, I sat there watching each breath she made as if it would be her last and listened to the sounds of her heartbeat from the machine that was hooked up to her. A very simple truth dawned on me, I realised that everything that I had sacrificed in the name of love not only meant nothing if Gina were to pass away, they were actually completely and utterly empty and worthless. What had I done to our lives? Did Gina even know that I loved her with every fibre of my being?

When I first met her, I was a broken, hopeless, jobless, uncouth 'waste of life'. She changed that. She believed in me and gave me meaning for everything. She loved me. At the same time, I recognised a unique greatness in her and could see that she needed freedom to grow. At 18 years old, I promised that I would do everything I could to build a life that would give her that freedom and would be a life that would enable her to be all the things I sensed she was destined to be. The only way I knew how to do this was to work as hard as I could.

At first, things went well. We started to build foundations for our future that were wonderful, and we had an awful lot of fun doing it too. Unfortunately, by our mid-twenties things started to change. I became obsessive about work and then, at the age of 39, I found myself sitting there in hospital with Gina, realising that I was still the same right up to the day that Gina had collapsed. I found that I didn't remember much of our twenties and most of our early thirties. I was too busy working. I sacrificed almost every minute of our lives for what I believed was a good future for Gina and the freedom I had promised her. I did it for us and I did it for love, or so I wanted to believe. I was so wrong that it really is astounding. Materially, we had done well over the years, but what about my promise? What about our dreams?

I realised that I had actually made it impossible for Gina to live her dreams because she had spent all of those years worrying about me, looking after me, picking me up every time I worked myself into the ground again (which was frequent), dealing with my stress, listening to my obsessive conversations about how to do things better at work and focusing on making more money so we could live the dream I had promised to make real. I didn't hear her when she said I'd lost my way, she was worried about me, worried about us. I knew better of course, because I was doing it all for love, I was doing it all for her, she'd understand once it all worked out. Oh boy, I was such a selfish pain in the rear that it's begs belief, and that's a serious understatement. In the name of love, I had already sacrificed everything, including Gina's life. What had started out as 'we' and 'us' became 'me, me, me'. Oh, the shame of it.

On top of all of this, Gina managed to get us through the years of trauma of living next to a despicable old couple who had done everything from breaking into our home, tried to blackmail us, trying to steal property from us and even tried to kill us on several occasions. She dealt with it all. She kept us alive. We survived and she protected us. And then she collapsed. Is it any surprise? No, of course not, but I didn't see it coming, although I should have.

As she lay there in hospital, I knew she was making the decision whether or not to stay or go. It was entirely up to her and, for whatever reason, she decided to stay. Later, she said that she stayed because she loves me and that there were still things to do, including writing her books. I am so grateful that she decided to stay that even now I want to cry sometimes.

Gina told me that she did know that I loved her all those years. She said that she knew I'd lost my way, but always knew I'd come back. I don't know how she managed to wait so long, but I'm so glad that she did. Since then I've done everything that I can to show her I love her in every possible way and I'll continue to do so for eternity.

Would I die for her? Of course. Can I 'live' for her, though? Not before, but now I can and certainly do.

 

You can't tell me anything!

 

There's a peculiar thing that I didn't mention in the blog I wrote a while ago about how I met Gina. At the time, before I even knew her name, an absolute 'knowing' came over me that I have never been able to explain. It overwhelmed me but was in turn overwhelmed by the fact that I was falling in love with Gina at first sight.

That 'knowing' was that the incredible person I had just met would write books that would make a difference in the world. I had no idea what that difference would be, when it would be or what she would write about. I just knew it would happen and it was just a fact, regardless of anything else that would happen in life. Recently, Gina told me she has never felt any pressure from me all these years, only belief in an inevitability. I am grateful for that, as it's always been a fear of mine that I would negatively influence the natural course of what is meant to be.

To put this into a little more perspective, when I met Gina she was a very shy, academically brilliant seventeen year old student and I was an unemployed, uncouth, down-and-out eighteen year old. Now, we've known each other for well over twenty four years. 

The study of Utamaro had already been a passion of hers for a few years by the time I met her and I remember fondly that our earliest 'dates' involved me carrying the heavy old books to and from the secure stacks at Birmingham Reference Library to Gina as she would study the hallowed tomes of the 'Old Gentlemen of Ukiyo-e', the title she reverently gave to the numerous scholars, connoisseurs and collectors who had been writing about Utamaro and Ukiyo-e over the past century. I got to know them through Gina as she enthusiastically talked about their discoveries, their theories and their thoughts that they had shared on paper. I can still name several of them from memory now - Vignier and Enada, Gale, Vever, De Goncourt, Bing, Humphries, Yoshida, Michener and of course, the finest gentlemen of them all, Mr Jack Hillier, who would invite Gina for tea just months later and went on to be a pivotal part of Gina's life as both a friend and mentor until his passing in 1995.

One story that might amuse you about those days at the library was that I was inspired by Gina's sheer passion for knowledge and decided to have a go at 'getting cleverer'. I set out to write an essay on Shakespeare's King Lear, bearing in mind I hadn't been taught Shakespeare at school and had what I would consider to be a very limited vocabulary, and therefore a limited understanding as well, at the time. After several hours, Gina overheard me asking the head librarian if they had a copy in 'normal English', for which I was given a look by the man that was a mix of horror and disgust as I was dismissed as a possible trouble maker. I'm surprised he didn't ask security to have me escorted into the picture book section of the library. 

A few hours later still, after hearing much muttering and grumbling from me, Gina asked me how I was doing and if she could see what I'd written so far. I flipped the writing pad around to show her the one line I'd written, which was, "This bloke's not all there in the head." Erm, yes, I know, I think that says it all really. The experience didn't stop me reading and appreciating Shakespeare as the years went on, but you can see where I started out. Funny, really.

With Gina's two groundbreaking works on Utamaro being published in 2008 and 2009, I was not only proud of her, I was also suddenly struck by the thought that one day, many, many years from now, a young student of Ukiyo-e will be at a reference library, buried in books by all the Old Gentlemen of Ukiyo-e, and, amongst those fine tomes will be Gina's fabulous reference books right next to Mr Hillier's works as well. What a fine and wonderful thought that is.

I am sure Mr Hillier would be so proud of her if he were here today, watching her continue the legacy of the Old Gentlemen. I think he would also agree that we need a new title that includes ladies now as well. Gina has suggested that it might be the Old Codgers of Ukiyo-e instead. Hehehe. Whatever the new title, there's no rush for that now as I'm sure that one of the students sat in a library many years from now will come up with a lovely title herself or himself too.

The Spirit of Adventure

 

Today, I'm writing this while on an early flight to Frankfurt accompanied by the usual mix of business people and the occasional traveller. No fuss, no noise, no excitement. Just the usual.

Last week, things were a little different. I found myself on a long haul flight while sat amongst thirty-eight excited British teenagers on their first trip to the US. I was informed that there were thirty-eight of them by one of the teachers, a lovely lady who was nick-named 'Wonder Woman Werner', after she spotted me desperately trying to hide my amusement when she was telling off one of the lads who seemed to have lost the ability to understand plain english after he had been caught doing something wrong. The teacher's real name was Lee, but I think her nick-name was both appropriate and very well earned.

I'm not very comfortable around kids, so, to be honest, I was dreading the coming eight hour flight to Washington D.C., hoping I might get at least a little time to concentrate on the work I had planned for the flight. As it was, apart from a couple of the kids having to use the little paper bags supplied for those of us who don't travel very well, the trip was pretty much uneventful. Yes, they were noisy, but in that happy, excited way that only comes from going on a grand adventure and sharing it with a friend. Or, in this case, thirty-seven friends. I didn't mind. Actually, I found it quite amusing and more than a little sweet.

Gina makes every outing an adventure, wether it be a day trip to London or Hay-on-Wye, going out for a meal or going on holiday. She gets so excited, especially if a flight, train or steam train journey is involved. I'm not sure I know which she loves more, planes or trains? I think it must be planes. She loves to use the IRIS machine, the iris recognition system at Heathrow, that let's us bypass the queues at passport control when we get back to the UK. 

It's hard not to get carried along by her excitement too. I have never met anyone with so much life. Her love for life, for knowledge and for adventure is boundless. I'm so very lucky that she let's me share that with her. Last night she asked me to find our National Trust directory. She wanted me to look up a site in the Midlands that she visited as a small child. Before I could even find the directory, she was already telling me about the wonderful paintings there, the history of the building, how the people would have lived when it was someone's home and the social background of the time. She knows so much, it's amazing. Being an Historian is not just a title for her, it's part of who she is.

Gina, the eternal student and my eternal teacher.